A rough time coming ahead

Went to the oncologist today and we are getting ready for a really tough & intense three weeks soon.  I will be doing 15 days straight of chemo & radiation on each day.  I hope my energy is up for this!  I will do my best, I know.

Seems the tumor is a little larger (not good news), but no indication it has moved anywhere else (hopefully, good news).  So we are going to hit it hard in the next month and hope it reduces the tumor and helps with my digestion.  The problem I have had that has taken my energy (and more weight loss) is that I can not eat any food and make it thru my stomach.  Something in the pancreas has blocked the stomach somehow, so I am limited to a feeding tube into my small colon.  How I would LOVE to eat a pizza slice, or a sandwich, or anything!  I have had more trouble in the last there months with my stomach than with the cancer!

By the way, the reason why I am doing 15 days of BOTH chemo & radiation is that my doctor says the chemo will make the radiation much more effective.  I have to believe him.

The problem is my energy level is really low.  Those that know me know this is UNUSUAL for me!  But I have lost so much weight and only getting nutrition from a tube makes me not real strong right now.  So say a prayer for me to make it thru this 15 days really successfully.  On the 20th, I am having an endoscopy to place 2 gold pins on each end of the tumor so that in the next 3 weeks they can really pinpoint the radiation exactly between those two points only.

I hope that I do not lose any more energy with this treatment.  This cancer does horrible things to one’s body, but I will NOT let it get to my spirit!  I am a fighter and I want to fight this as hard as I can.  Cast some thoughts my way that I can have the strength to keep upright in these three weeks.  I may find that I can not do as much email and FB stuff after I start, as this is all new.  I wish I could keep taking the Alternative Methods medicines, but I can not swallow any pills and we can not crush enough of them to get them into the extremely small tube into the small colon. So for now it will be traditional only.

As always I send all of you warmth and I thank you for your caring.  I hope that those that need some positive vibes can sense that positive from my strong will power.  So I say Cheers to all of you.