My most important decisions now facing reality in my life

 

death

Have not posted on this blog for a week until I met with doctor today and had what could be the final scheduled Chemo treatment.  I have some major decisions to make in next two weeks, so I had so many questions to discuss with my doctor.  Read on to see these really scary & important decisions ahead.

The saying above has become so much more real to me since I was diagnosed with cancer in June of this year.  My priorities have so changed, and so has the realization that we really are limited in how long we are on this Earth.  Anything could happen to any of us at any time.  So take this saying to heart please in YOUR own life!!!   Live each day more fully instead of planning or working so much of your time.  Love more. love unconditionally, forgive anyone who has wronged you and accept love from everyone — friends & family.  We do not know the future at all…. news like I had in June can QUICKLY bring you to your knees.

I had my 10th Chemo today and I do hope that I have an easier week than I had from the last Chemo.  But, even more important, I had a long talk with my Oncologist about the options ahead in the next weeks or month.  Let me first state that my doctor — like most doctors — places very little faith at all in Alternative Methods and all the benefits it has done to my cancer fight and strengthening my immune system.  Traditional doctors have not been trained that way and I understand that.  By the way, I do really like my doctor.  But he states honestly that he does know anything about all the OTHER options to fight cancer other than Chemo, Radiation & Surgery.  That is his reality and his training and I do appreciate that in him.

But we discussed today the real improvements we’ve witnessed in the size & location of my tumor.  He wants now to have another CT Scan next week and then have me meet my surgeon to discuss what they think I should do next — the Whipple surgery.  He says from his training  that this is the only possibility of my COMPLETE recovery (again, downplaying all the Alternative methods that could help).  His quote I could recover completely  …. “if I survive the surgery and the many bad possible problems AFTER this surgery.”  It could be as much as a 15% fatality in the operation or the complications.  I am not thrilled at all with those percentages.

So I have to make some real decisions soon…. and I can use your prayers & thoughts to make the right decisions.  The Whipple is a TOUGH and DANGEROUS 7-8 hour surgery where a team of doctors cut out most (almost never getting all of the cancer cells) of the tumor on the pancreas, some of the colon, the spleen, the gall bladder, and maybe even other areas (even though it has not metastasized in me) and then sew all these parts back together again.  It can lead to many complications in my insides, my digestion, probable diabetes, poor stomach & colon problems as my body would have to adapt to new directions of digestions.  There could be many problems., as you can see.

Or I could keep taking maintenance Chemo (maybe even pills instead of IV  drips), some radiation, and continue the Alternative Methods I am doing to see if it can totally shrink the tumor with that combination.  And then live many years (hopefully!!) maintaining my life with these great Alternative vitamins, pills, immune gains, etc etc.  My doctor has come to care for me a lot also and he would support whatever I decide.

There is no perfect choice — I must weigh so many options.  You all know I am a fighter and I have always been positive about everything in my life… as I have been about this cancer battle.  So, please pray that I make the correct decisions here and in the future.  I can not tell you how much your emails, prayers and thoughts mean to my morale and positive energy.  You help more than you can ever realize.

I have three Alternative IV’s tomorrow again in the Villages and I really feel these are so very good for me. Insurance does not pay for ANY of these procedures that I do away from the Chemo & traditional methods.

I send hugs to all of you and I thank you for really following and seriously fighting along side of me in this very real battle.  I feel I have a real loving army behind me as I continue to think positively and fight this fight as well as I can. I take the time to say again say here,  “Thank You!”