Up and Down days

It has been three days of up and down emotions and information. I think this will happen occasionally as I continue to aim at the chemo and tough struggle ahead.

Two days ago I got mostly good news from our meetings. My doctor said they have no evidence that the cancer has metastasized, which is really good news. They are sure now that it is pancreatic cancer and the most common type called adenocarcinoma. It is a tough one to beat, but I hope to be ready for this fight.

He also said it was Stage 2-3. The reason for 2-3 and not just 2 is that it is a large mass (5-6 cm – little more than 2 inches) and where it is blocking several important arteries. So we must reduce the mass size first to be able to operate and remove it. So if you want to pray to help, please pray that my doctors can find the right mix to reduce this tumor. I am also doing an alternative method nutritional program to strengthen my body & immune system. I’m trying to fight it on two fronts.

It is a lot to overcome and organize for me here now. I am mostly positive, as all of you who know me can relate. But, honestly, yesterday was the first somewhat “down” day for me. I had several times during the day where I hit a “Woe is me” moment. I had some fears that I would be strong enough for this fight. That was a first for me since I heard the horrible news. Fortunately, I am somewhat back to my positive thoughts today.

I assume that from time to time I will hit lows, so I hope my positive nature can help to keep these to a minimum. I have a feeling that I will hit all the emotions possible in the weeks and months ahead. I ask for your prayers for my continued strength.

If you are reading this, know that I really feel glad that so many of you are behind me. I have always thought I was Superman. Now I am really human enough to realize and say thank you so much for your mental and emotional support.